The Most Ridiculous Adventure Ever
by Luna Cat Kitty
Summary: I'm walking back to the dorms one dark snowy night, and somehow I end up in Ba Sing Se. What's worse is that I can't understand a single word that anyone's saying. All I want is to go home to where things make sense.  Inspired by another fic.
1. Chapter 1

**So... This fanfic was inspired by another fanfic which is awesomely hilarious that you should all check out. :)  
>It's called 'Self Insert: An Avatar Fanfic' by RPMasterweaver. It's funny and worth the read.<strong>

**So now that the promised source was cited with permission, let's roll baby.  
>I know there's plenty of these, but I thought I'd try it out. Why not hop on a bandwagon everyone once and a while.<strong>

**So you know, all the pairings are determined by canon. Maiko, Kataang, Sukka, and the whole shebang.**

**So enjoy. :]  
>I own nothing.<strong>

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><p>I was walking back to the dorms and it was a dark Friday night. There was a meeting in the Union where I was for the past three hours. So there I was, walking back to the dorms when it was ten at night, and it was cold. Seriously cold. South Dakota cold. The building was a few meters behind me, thus leaving me a pretty little bulls-eye for the wind to hit. It was cold. Too cold. Ridiculously cold. South Dakota cold. The snow was falling at an almost horizontal angle like it normally did, and surprisingly it wasn't as bad as it could've been. But the cold was really cold. I'm almost in the middle of the campus and the power dies. The Union, Skywalk, and the other buildings behind and all around me go dark. The wind decided to blow harder, just to make life harder.<p>

That was South Dakota's way of saying "I love you, but I caught you talking smack about me the other day." Accompanied with a Gibb-slap across the back of the head.

I stopped and took off the Pikachu plush bag I had and decided to use it as a windbreaker. Three hours earlier, it was sweater weather. As in, around twenty degrees. Now it's cold and a blizzard a starting to kick up. I sighed as I continued to walk and listen to my iPod. I knew the campus well enough to navigate it in the dark. I began walking towards the two buildings out in the middle of bum nowhere and groaned when the snow and wind really began to kick up. I closed my eyes, hugged my Pikachu bag, and began to walk the familiar route. The wind and snow began to die down and I sighed with relief that I could actually open my eyes.

I opened my eyes expecting to see the useless crosswalk in front of me, but what I saw was a city. A large city standing in its entire city like glory. Not the random campus in the middle of a state no one cares about. Quickly I turned to look behind me and I nearly smack into a random guy in a green robe and a conical hat. I stare blankly at the guy who was standing where the stupid bench was supposed to be. I looked past him to see an alley where the Union was supposed to be.

Dear lord, where am I and what in the world happened?

So, there I was standing in front of a creepy guy in green. The creepy guy in green staring at me like I've plopped down from only god knows where. I remembered what I had with me when I started on this adventure. A black Rainbow Dash shirt that says "This shirt just got 20 percent cooler" with a silhouette of a pony with a rainbow mane, black pants, some well-worn shoes that were falling apart, and a Pikachu plush bag thing. This did look odd, even for normal standards. Then there's the creepy guy in green. The creepy guy in green who had a circle decal thing on his uniform and a fluffy thing that came off his hat.

Wait a minute… Circle decal, fluffy hat thing, green, conical hat all on an intimidating guy in an alley way of a large city?

Dai Li agent?

I stood there staring blankly at the guy. Surely my brain is being stupid and relating everything to Avatar like it always does. The guy moved his hand to brush off a little of the snow that got on him. Instantly I noticed that there was a glove made of rocks on his hand.

Dear sweet god, it was a Dai Li agent…

Of _all_ the people to bump into, it just _had_ to be a Dai Li agent. Just my luck. I had no clue what to do. Act natural. Natural. Act. Natural. Don't mention any wars, brainwashing, Long Feng, lakes, or bad things and you'll be fine. Just go with the flow.

An idea quickly began to dig its way into my brain. I could ask where the Jasmine Dragon was! I could pull off the stupid tourist get up without a hitch! Thank you tourism season! I congratulated myself for my stroke of genius, but then my brain had to be stupid. There's a Dai Li agent. The Dai Li could be in Fire Nation occupied Ba Sing Se. Crap! I thought that perhaps it was before that. My brain was trying make sense of the entire situation. Then my brain decided to go haywire and denounce all my genius ideas.

The next thing I knew, the Dai Li agent began to speak. Words were coming out… But I couldn't understand them!

I'm screwed.

So now I knew that I couldn't understand a single word that these people were saying. I was screwed. The Dai Li guy was talking to me, and I had no clue what he was trying to say. So, I tried to delve in all the languages that I knew. I knew a grand total of zero other languages, unless you count random words. If I was lucky, the guy might speak Spanish.

"Hola!" I waved at the Dai Li agent.

He raised his eyebrow and began to speak again. Really, really fast. I began to wish that he would slow down. But I did I learn that he doesn't speak Spanish. So I tried another language.

"How." I raised my hand.

Again I got the same result. He doesn't speak Native American either. I had one more shot.

"Konichiwa?"

His face looked confused. I guess that didn't work either. I began to hope that he'd let me off with insanity. Or illiteracy. The Dai Li agent sighed and then began to walk away, but looked back and cast me a pitying glance. I breathed a sigh of relief. Hooray for being illiterate and unable to speak the language!

After I dodged that bullet (or would it rock glove?), I decided to celebrate with a good old fashioned walking around and trying to find my way home. I walked out of the alley way and down the road, and in five minutes flat I was hopelessly lost. Maybe if I knew what part of the series I was in, it would give me some form of idea on what to do next.

Which shouldn't be too hard right? All I had to ask is if the Fire Nation was in town! Oh wait… I can't speak my way out of a paper bag here. I thought that maybe there'd be something useful in that Pikachu bag that I conveniently had. I just had to find a place where I could sit and dig through the bag without attracting too much attention to myself.

So I continued to walk around while trying to find that place. It didn't take long to notice that people were staring at me. I'd be staring at me if I was anyone of these people, especially because my hair looks like I defected to the Fire Nation, but then blonde would stand out more. I gave up trying to blend in and put on the hood of my jacket.

I noticed a little shop with people walking in and out of, and decided to take a look inside. It looked relatively safe and painless so I decided to take a chance. I faced off with a Dai Li agent, I can handle anything. I snagged a table in the corner and began to dig through that Pikachu bag, along with my pockets. I had enough change to kill a person, iPod, that tiny sketch pad, some random candy, a can of Mountain Dew, and a ton of hot chocolate packets. All of which are of no use.

I heard someone grumble above me in the language that I couldn't understand and sighed. That sketchbook may come in handy after all. The person grumbled again and I looked up only to be staring my savior in the face.

Dear sweet god, it was Zuko! I do have a chance after all! I almost jumped up and hugged him and said his name, and thing's would've been awkward. So all I had to do was convince him to let me hang out with him and Iroh for a day or two until the universe decided to fix itself. Right?

Wrong. His hair was at that season two stage, so Azula should be trying to sneak in at about this time. All I had to do was get home before anything bad happened. Then there was a bang at the door. Everyone in the little shop turned to the entrance to see a guy with hook swords pointing at Zuko. It was Jet. He said something which I assumed was his true declaration of Zuko and Iroh being firebenders. So I did what any smart person would do.

Hide behind the old guy who just happened to shoot fire and lighting out of his freaking hands. The old guy which also just happened to have the title of Dragon of the West.

Now all I had to do was somehow convince Iroh that I need help. Somehow. How would that work anyway?

"Hello Iroh. I'm Luna and I'm from South Dakota. I somehow got transported here due to a freak blizzard. Oh, and I also know how the war will end. Will you help me?"

Yeah. Like that'll fly. I couldn't even believe it myself and it's true. Then there's that pesky little thing called the language barrier. Oh karma? What did I do this week?

The fight moved outside and there was nobody standing behind me or Iroh. Talk about lucky. So I began to doodle crappy, but light erasable sketches that should tip him off that I needed help. So I doodled an Iroh head along with a Zuko head along with an even crappier doodle of the Fire Nation insignia. I circled the entire mess to hopefully get the point across that I know where they're from.

One of many scenarios could happen. Iroh could ignore me. The Dai Li could see me. Or worse. I looked around and made sure no one could see, and that there were no Dai Li agents. I looked over to the ex-general and gently nudged him. Luckily for me, he looked over and I showed him my crappy light doodle. He raised an eyebrow and looked nervously towards Zuko.

Now all I had to do was convince him that I won't rat him out. Now, how would I do that? Jet hopped onto the well thing as Zuko almost sliced off his head. I quickly erased the crap doodle and closed my sketchbook and shoved it in my large pockets. Suddenly two Dai Li agents materialized from behind Jet, and continued to arrest him.

I knew that Jet was trying to defend himself, and the two policemen complimented Iroh's tea. The teashop owner, Pao vouched for both Iroh and Zuko as Jet was hauled into the carriage. The two agents closed the door and soon the carriage went off towards Lake Laogai for Jet's brainwashing.

The crowd began to disperse and Pao quickly talked to the two firebenders in disguise. They handed him their aprons and I assumed that they were done for the day. At this point, I wished that they would come over to me and say something. Even though I couldn't understand them. If all else failed, I'd follow them home like a lost puppy.

To my relief, Iroh motioned to a grumpy Zuko and they began to walk towards me. I dug out my sketchbook and prepared to draw my way into safety. Zuko began whispering frantically, getting his face really close to mine. Even though I know more about Zuko than he knew about himself, having his face close was quite uncomfortable. Considering that if Mai ever found out, I'd be a bloody smear on the pavement. I did notice one prominent thing though. He smelled like a teashop. He must've been there for quite some time, so he had that lingering teashop scent. At least it wasn't KFC. KFC smells funny. Zuko just smelled like a barrel of tea attacked him

So, there was one thing I could do. Talk in my normal language and eventually tip off that I have no clue what they're saying. So, I began to ramble. "I don't understand you." A pause. "I don't understand you, but you will become Fire Lord, your uncle will have a teashop, your dad will lose his firebending. Oh, and you'll be the Avatar's firebending teacher and friend." That should do it. I just spoiled the entire series, perhaps changing the course of the show as we knew it.

But all I got was a blank stare and a confused grunt. I pointed to myself and said my name. At least they'd know that. Hopefully. The two firebenders introduced themselves in the same manor. I had a feeling they were trying to say 'call us Lee and Mushi so we don't get captured' type deal. I saw the series so I know how things should work out.

Next thing I knew, I was being led like a child to some smelly apartment complex that made Lime Bud Light smell like a batch of roses. We entered the cramped apartment and got settled down. There was that awkward silence that one would normally expect, but it all worked out in the end. Out of pure boredom, I dug my iPod out of my pocket, and realized it's been playing the entire time. I sighed when I realized how much battery was lost, when I noticed that the little icon was full. Impossible, yet handy. Thank you Avatar universe. Where batteries live forever.

A small cup was set down in front of me, and I looked up to see a smiling Iroh. Oh boy, tea. How could I break it to him that I did not like tea? Well, if I were to survive, I'd have to choke down every bit. I took a sip and realized that it wasn't has nasty as the tea I had before, but it still wasn't my drink of choice. I just hoped that no one served fish. Fish is nasty.

I realized that somewhere in the Upper Ring, Aang and company were finding out about Long Feng's tendency to make kings figureheads, and that somewhere under a lake, Jet was being brainwashed. All I had to do was wait out the few days until Iroh and Zuko would be living it up in the Upper Ring, and tag along with Iroh to find Aang, Toph, and Sokka. After that, I have no clue what I'd do.

It'll be an interesting adventure. Good thing I got those essays done.

Also, hooray for magical battery saving. My iPod may come in handy. Bon Jovi or Aerosmith could save the day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to my reviewers who well... Reviewed. :]  
>I appreciate it a lot. :3<strong>

**This chapter is more important than it seems, but this is a parody so it really shouldn't matter more so than usual.**

**Again, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this latest installment!**

**I own nothing. Yada yada yada.**

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><p>The room smelled unfamiliar. I was too sleepy to open my eyes, and I really didn't want too. I groaned as I tried to reach over to the desk to see what the time was. Instead of a desk, there was a large pile of nothing where it should have been. The next thing I knew, I could feel myself falling and landing with a thud on the wooden floor. The wood smelled weird.<p>

Wait a minute? No desk? Wood? A surprisingly short fall from my bed?

I opened my eyes and was met with wood. I looked up to see a blank wall with only a window. I looked to where I was sleeping and saw that it wasn't my bed, but a couch like futon like thing. Suddenly the events of last night came back and I sighed in annoyance. In front of the window was a small table. I stood up and saw a random piece of paper and picked it up. On the paper was written stuff that I couldn't read, or even attempt to make out what it said. I decided to do what I could do best, and that was to sit and do nothing.

But I was hungry.

I dug through the cupboards to see if there was anything that I could easily cook. I saw a whole lot of nothing. Considering my lack of being able to understand anything, I couldn't go across the hall and mooch something off of the neighbors. Just then I heard a knock (it was more of a banging, really) on the door. I grabbed my stuff and opened the door. In the frame were two Dai Li agents. One of them was the same one from the night before. The second one just plain looked grumpy. They were both quite tall, and I was quite short. So, I had the short end of the stick.

Once again they started speaking words that I couldn't understand. They both entered the room and grabbed my arms, like they did with Jet. I wanted to cry and punch them where it hurt, but I couldn't. Bad things would happen if I did. So all I could do was go peacefully while the neighbors watched. I felt bad for Zuko and Iroh, but they had a voucher. I on the other hand, did not.

After being dragged down the stairs and stared at by various bystanders, I was shoved in a wagon eerily similar to the one that Jet was hauled away in. Now that I was safe and secure, I began to panic. The worst I've ever done was going to detention in middle school for forgetting my gym clothes. Now they'd probably accuse me of being some sort of terrorist. The double whammy was the fact that Miranda Rights were nonexistent and that most likely it was guilty until proven innocent instead of the other way around. I was also pretty sure that Long Feng wouldn't provide me with a lawyer either.

I'm screwed.

So I did what most people probably did and stared out the tiny window and look at the city for the first and possibly, last time. The buildings were gradually getting nicer and bigger when it finally hit me. I wasn't going to Lake Laogai; I was going to the palace. Probably to see Long Feng for something that I didn't do, but it's better than a creepy lake. I hope.

The wagon lurched to sudden stop in front a large building. A very large building. The doors of the compartment I was in opened suddenly, and the two Dai Li agents stood in the doorway. I gulped. I put on my Pikachu bag and started to maneuver my way over. One of them grabbed my arm and literally pulled me out of the stupid wagon. I couldn't help but squeak, because rock gloves hurt. They began to walk in to the building through a secret door. I looked behind me to see it closed with earthbending. There was no way I was getting out that way.

I was walked through a winding maze of corridors and passageways until there was a large set of double doors. They looked a lot like the ones Long Feng had in the series. Before I had enough time to study the doors, they opened into a dimly lit room. I was led into the room by the two agents and saw a desk in front of some really creepy green fire in a very large fireplace. I was in Long Feng's office.

I'm gonna die.

I'm gonna die in a large palace in the office of a creeper in a world where people can kill you by chucking elements at your face. Not exactly the way I planned to go. I felt a tugging at the Pikachu bag by one of the Dai Li agents. I took it off before anyone could do any damage to it. He haphazardly chucked it on Long Feng's desk.

I hope the can of Mountain Dew didn't open.

The guy began to pry my oversized hoodie off. I didn't want him to kill that, so a few seconds later that too was thrown on the desk by the grumpy agent. I heard the sound of five dollars in change and an iPod touch make a thunk as it hit the desk.

Shortly after, I heard the double doors open as a man in green robes walked in. I recognized him as Long Feng. Long Feng the dirty, nasty, creeper who creeps. He began to speak, and I couldn't understand a word he was saying, or if it was even directed to me. I felt the two agents let go of my arms and heard them step back. I looked back at Long Feng who was staring at me with a raised eyebrow. He began to speak. All I got out of it was Long Feng and Ba Sing Se.

As he spoke, he began to rummage through my stuff. He held up a quarter and eyed it. He put it down and did the same with the other coins in my coat pockets. Long Feng grabbed my iPod and turned it over in his hands. After he gave up trying to figure out how it worked, he set it down on his desk along with the array of change. He went for the Pikachu bag and after a while if shaking it and turning it over, he found the zipper and figured out how to open it. He dug out random candy and packets of hot chocolate and put those with the iPod. He flipped through a thankfully empty and recently erased sketchpad and discovered the fizzed up can of Mountain Dew.

Long Feng held up the can of fizzy deliciousness as he continued to speak about something or another, though I'm sure I heard Laogai in there somewhere… I began to hope that he didn't open the can. He eyed the can and gave it a good shake. I cringed. Don't open the can. Don't open it. Damn this language barrier! He turned it upside down and discovered the random little numbers on the bottom. He pointed to them and started to speak. Like I could tell him what those were for even if I could speak the language. He turned the can right side up and discovered the tab.

Don't open the can!

He shook the can once again and poked the tab. Long Feng maneuvered the tips of his fingers under the tab. I gulped. If he opened it and it fizzed out and attacked him, I'd be dead.

Don't open the can!

I heard the sound of the aluminum bending when Long Feng started to open the can. The fizzing could be heard from where I was standing. Soon I heard the snap of the can opening and the fizz and sloshing sound of Mountain Dew and carbon water escaping the airtight container. I also heard the surprised sound that came from Long Feng when he became covered with it.

The scene played over and over again in my head. Long Feng slowly opening a shaken up can of Mountain Dew and being attacked and nearly drowned with the sticky yet fizzy substance known to clog arteries and cause heart disease.

I am going to die.

If the circumstances didn't mean life or death, it would be a comical scene. There he was, Grand Secretariat of Ba Sing Se, head of the Dai Li, advisor to the Earth King, and earthbender extraordinaire with his eyes wide open just standing there, dripping from the torso upwards in sticky Mountain Dew with that deer in the headlights expression.

I am really going to die.

Long Feng just stared at me. I stared at the can of Mountain Dew that Long Feng was holding. I slowly walked to the desk and collected my things. I put my jacket on and everything in the pockets. I put everything but the empty can into the Pikachu bag, and tossed it over my shoulders. I then stepped back to my original spot. The two Dai Li agents snapped out of their stupor and began to assist Long Feng in getting the sticky substance off. I was prepared for a one way ticket to Lake Laogai. Or I could run like mad and somehow miraculously escape the palace.

Considering that I already know that I'm going to be tossed under the lake because of Long Feng's stupid act of opening a fizzy can of pop, I thought that I'd run. I looked to the door which was opened and I looked at the preoccupied trio.

I was an idiot.

I ran. I ran out of the room and down the hall like the idiot I truly was. If the main characters could outrun Dai Li agents, why couldn't I? I figured that I'd try to find a way out. Or find a General. Or the Earth King. Somehow spill that Long Feng is a scheming liar and do Aang's work for him. Whichever came first. I heard something coming from behind and I ran as fast as I could. I rounded a corner and another corner, and yet another corner. I saw a door that looked like it led to the outside world and I ran even faster. I looked behind me to see the two Dai Li agents from before. I focused on the door and I closed my eyes and ran. I heard a rumbling sound and I noticed the ground warping and the door being covered carefully by earth.

I drew nearer to the door and barely made it before it got any narrower and before the Dai Li agent could grab my Pikachu bag. I ran ahead and noticed their wagon and I stopped to breathe. The two agents quickly bolted out of the palace and the chase was on. Again.

I ran in a straight line, hoping that I would come across something or someone that could help me. Suddenly a wall rose from the ground and I had the pleasure of running right into it. I stood there dazed and then fell on the ground. There was no way I'd be able to run that fast again. My head also hurt. More so from the wall then the running, and even then it was a close competition. I plopped on my back and looked up at the face of the grumpy agent. Soon the face of the first agent I encountered blocked the sun. I looked up at them, and they looked down to me. Soon a still very sticky Long Feng entered my field of vision. A frown made its home on his face.

"Ow." My face hurt and that was all I could say.

I hoped that I didn't die. Dying would kind of suck.

Long Feng began to talk again. I couldn't understand him. I just wanted to go home and sleep. Or at least be back with Iroh and Zuko. I remembered them all of a sudden. The neighbors are going to tell them that I was taken by the Dai Li, and they won't do anything because they don't want to be discovered. I'm going to be a Joo Dee for the rest of my life. Terrific. Welcome to Ba Sing Se everyone. Where it's the Asian version of 1984. Big Brother is watching you. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Suddenly an idea came into my brain and laid eggs. I dug into my pocket and grabbed my iPod. I took off the green headphones and turned up the volume. No one was paying attention to me, so it was the only time I was able too. I flipped through my iPod, hoping to find something that may help. Suddenly I came across a song that may be so great to Long Feng's ears that he'd have to let me go. So I picked a good song that won't give him a heart attack.

Bon Jovi.

It's My Life started to play valiantly from my iPod. Long Feng quickly looked down at me and my iPod. He and the two Dai Li agents began to exchange words as the chorus echoed in our little area of the Upper Ring. The two agents hauled me up and held me there, well knowing that I'd fall like jelly if I didn't have any support. Long Feng began talking once more, but with a more curious tone to his voice. The next thing I knew was that I was being carried back into the palace as he continued on.

Day Three in the Avatar World.

It turned out that Long Feng liked my iPod. It also worked to my advantage because he had no clue on how to use it, so I was (self)-dubbed the iPod Commander. I had no clue what he said. Luckily for me, the battery is immortal here. Another upside is that I got a nice bath and that my face wasn't broken. I also got some fancy Earth Kingdom clothing to blend in with. The Dai Li agent wasn't bad company either. The one who I first ran in to, and probably still thought I'm confused. I'm pretty sure his name was Chen. If not, it is now.

I also had a safe-ish place to hide until Aang and the rest of his friends decided to tell the Earth King that Long Feng was a crook, but for now I decided to milk it for all it's worth. I was still a poor college kid.

There was one downside though. Well, more than one.

Long Feng wanted the song It's My Life to be played on repeat. Constantly. It wasn't that bad until he began to try to sing along. In English.

Long Feng is a terrible singer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again lovely readers/reviewers/lurkers/people-who-clicked-the-wrong-link!  
>Sorry for the delay in updating this thing. I wasn't too excited about this chapter at first, so I let it sit, forgot about it, re-read it, and was ok with it.<br>If there's anything important that's rushed or something, feel free to tell me so I can fix it.  
>Maybe I feel this way because the main chracters are finally in here.<br>****Anywho, on with the fic, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Avatar is not mine, it belongs to Bryke. It's My Life isn't mine, it belongs to Bon Jovi.**

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><p><em>This ain't a song for the brokenhearted.<em>

The instrumentals began to play shortly after. Soon a mumbled singing could be heard behind a desk covered with scrolls.

_No silent prayer for the faith departed._

Soon more instrumentals along with more singing in broken English with a side of gibberish followed. There was a knock on the door and I quickly turned my iPod off, saving me and my newfound friend/ally/babysitter, Chen from another onslaught of Bon Jovi. Long Feng stood up as the door opened to reveal General How. How seemed angry about something. Even though it's my personal belief that he was always bitter because he got jipped in the name department compared to everyone else around here.

The two began to argue about something or another, and I decided that I'd play with my iPod. I had to get Long Feng addicted to another song. So far the playlist labeled 'Long Feng' had one whole song on it, and I'm sure that the Dai Li are sick of It's My Life. I flipped through my iPod as Long Feng turned towards me and Chen and began barking out orders. Seriously, I think he was barking. Like a seal.

The General and the Grand Secretariat hurriedly left the room. Chen and I were utterly alone. I was bored, so I decided to sneak a peek around the palace. Earth Kingdom garb, oversized hoodie, iPod, Pikachu bag, and Dai Li agent in tow, I set out.

Well I would if the resident Dai Li agent would say something that made sense. I looked back and he was waving his arms around and saying something that he thought was important. I had no clue what that something was.

"I won't break anything, Chen. I'll just sneak a peek and I'll be back before you know it." I casually spoke to him like he could get what I was saying. Turning to the door I began to make my way out of Long Feng's creepy office.

Gibberish started coming from Chen once again. Why can't I understand him! I sighed. I turned around to try to convey that I wasn't going to break anything. After a few more exchanges of only God knows what, I left with Chen following cautiously behind.

I snuck around hallways and corners, and honestly I felt like a ninja. Even Chen was quiet, which naturally didn't surprise me. We continued to wander down the corridors and halls until we heard voices from behind a closed door. I opened the door slightly and saw that it was Long Feng standing next to the Earth King. I opened it more to discover Aang, Sokka, Katara, and Toph standing in front of the king with the massive hulk that is Appa standing behind them.

Aang began to say something I couldn't understand and Long Feng quickly retorted. I had no clue what part of the conversation this was so I couldn't fill in the blanks. Great. Suddenly I noticed Aang do a quick airbending move. A gust of air buffeted Long Feng as Aang quickly compared the mark on his leg to Appa's teeth.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. It was funnier in person than it ever was on TV. "I see London. I see France. I see Long Feng's underpants." I couldn't help but fall into a heap of giggles. Even Chen was trying to stifle his laughter, but he too failed miserably.

Everyone quickly looked our way.

God, I'm retarded.

Long Feng quickly said something and two Dai Li agents grabbed us and hauled us in front of their leader. I had no clue what to do. I knew what I did though. I once again got on Long Feng's bad side and permanently tainted Chen's resume. Sorry Chen. My bad. I had to think quickly. Somehow prove to Aang and his friends that I wasn't a bad person, and save Chen's hide along with my own. Soon we were being dragged to where the others were standing. Needless to say, we've got some odd looks from everyone.

Long Feng kept on ranting about something. Possibly how bad it was to eavesdrop and that I'm once again on a one way ride to Lake Laogai. Then suddenly, a wild idea attacked! I dug out my sketchbook from my bag and I began to draw as if my life depended on it. And in this case, it did. I drew a grumpy looking Long Feng with two Dai Li guys under a lake. I flipped the page. I drew a confused looking Earth King Kuei on one side of the wall, with an angry looking firebender on the other side of the wall. I flipped the page. I drew an evil looking Long Feng laughing while wearing the crown with a sad Kuei locked up in a cage. Hopefully the Earth King would get my message.

"Kuei!" I said his name and he looked at me, and started to speak. I had no clue what he was saying, so with my sketchbook in hand, I somehow maneuvered past Long Feng and the Dai Li.

I quickly stopped in front of the very confused King and opened my sketchbook. Kuei saw the first picture and started to ask something. "I don't know what you're saying."

I flipped the page and showed him the picture of the angry firebender and the wall. I took a fake boxing stance and acted like I was the firebender punching the wall. I got a ton of weird looks.

Again I flipped to the last page. The one that had Long Feng wearing the crown. I pointed to Kuei's crown and then to Long Feng. Kuei began talking quickly as Long Feng looked as if he'd seen a ghost. Aang and his group of friends began to talk excitedly as they finally realized that they had a small victory. Kuei stopped them and began to speak in a doubting tone, but soon everything worked out in the favor of the good guys.

Quickly after the events at the palace, Aang and his friends, Chen, the Earth King, a few guards, and I were on a monorail to see the lake. Surprisingly it turned out that Chen was one of the only Dai Li agents who didn't crawl out of a hole, and decided to help Aang and company sell out Long Feng for the horrible guy he truly is. Even if he did have good taste in music. Soon we got off the train and stood at the entrance to the Dai Li's headquarters. Toph began to earthbend to open the entrance when all that came up was a pile of nothing. Sokka quickly started yelling at Chen and pointing a sharpened boomerang in our general direction. Chen yelled back saying something about something and I'm pretty sure I heard Dai Li, Long Feng, and Laogai in there somewhere.

Sokka took a deep breath and began talking enthusiastically. Kuei grumbled something and began to walk away, along with his guards. Sokka suddenly grinned and said something about Appa. The Earth King sure did look excited. Our ragtag group made its way to Appa and we all mounted the giant logic defying creature. Soon with a something that sounded like a yip yip, we were off.

"I'm gonna die! I'm gonna fall and I'm gonna die! Oh my god!" I screamed rather unceremoniously along with Kuei. I think my nails may leave some scars in Sokka's arm. Sorry Sokka.

Soon the Outer Wall came into view and we all just stared at it. I knew what was going to happen next. Kuei was going to see the ginormous drill, arrest Long Feng, and Sokka will make bad jokes. I knew it was going to happen, and all I had to do was survive until then. Oh, and maybe find my way home. We flew up the giant wall and all I could say was mother of walls. That was one big wall. I hope no one fell off of that. That would suck. Ouch.

Appa safely landed us on the giant freaking wall and I gratefully slid off, happy to be on stable land once again. The locals began talking and debating, and I decided to look on the other side of the wall. I cautiously peeked over and saw a giant exploded busted up old drill with the Fire Nation insignia all over it. Holy mother of drills. I noticed Kuei and the others stand beside me and stare down at the giant hulk of metal.

We all turned to see Long Feng walking towards us, flanked by the usual duo of Dai Li agents. It all went as expected. Long Feng lied, I made a face at him, and he was arrested. Sokka made a joke, and I knew what it was, so I tossed him a pity laugh. I looked down at the drill again and realized that something bad is about to happen. Azula. Everyone began to disperse as I tried to piece together a believable story. I sighed as Toph called my name and we all mounted Appa and began to live the good life in the Upper Ring once again.

At least I didn't scream this time.

I worried that Azula would sneak in before I had a chance to warn anyone. It went by pretty fast actually. There were feasts and celebrations and How being grumpy as usual. The next thing I knew, we were all gathered in Long Feng's office and going through mail and intelligence reports. Chen went off with another Dai Li agent, probably to tell them of the events that happened.

There was the fake letter from Toph's mom. I realized that it'd be best if I didn't mention that, considering metalbending becomes quite important later on.

The letter from the Guru was next. Again very important.

Then the intelligence report from Sokka and Katara's dad. Sokka squealed with excitement as Katara offered to stay behind.

Everyone started conversing and making plans for the future. The gang indulged in group hugs and quickly talked to How and Kuei about something. You know that feeling when you feel like the seventh wheel? No? Well I do.

Suddenly Aang walked over and started talking to me. Surprisingly we were the same height, even if I did have around five or six years on him. If you don't count the one hundred spent in an iceberg. All of what he said went straight over my head, even though I did hear my name in there somewhere. The next thing I know he did a slight bow and rubbed the back of his head. It's good to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this language barrier. I did a crappy version of the bow back, and they all laughed. I really hope it was because I can't bow properly to save my life.

The next day we were all outside of the palace ready to go our separate ways. Apparently it was decided that I stay with Katara. Soon Aang and Sokka flew away on Appa and Toph began to make her way to the Upper Ring. The last thing that was heard was something about the Kyoshi Warriors.

Kyoshi Warriors!

"Wait! Azula is a Kyoshi Warrior! So are Ty Lee and Mai! Damn this language barrier!" I stood there screaming to the sky and waving my arms around like a moron. I turned over to Katara and began to somehow make Azula equal Kyoshi Warrior in just two words.

Katara looked at me and held up a scroll and mentioned How in her attempted explanation. Momo made his home on top of my head as we began to walk towards where the Generals were waiting.

It was not going to be a good end for this seemingly good day.

Soon the shit was gonna hit the fan and by tomorrow night, Ba Sing Se will be in Fire Nation hands.

I really want to go home now.


End file.
